I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
