Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
