Fuck appropriateness.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just gift wrapped bread.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
me + whiskey = a bad person
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
