i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
