so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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