K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
