I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
