The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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