No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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