In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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