successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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