Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
