also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
