your room smells of hookers.
And success
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
