Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
