If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
