Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
