Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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