I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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