Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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