Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
