I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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