Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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