Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
