coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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