Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
