Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
