i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
