Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
