This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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