So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you would pick up someone in the library
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
