yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
