Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
