My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
