Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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