Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
