Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
