I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
