I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
