I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
