PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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