Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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