Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
