I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
