his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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