When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
