I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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