Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
