how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
