I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
