ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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