this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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