So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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