And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
